Over The Hill Health Matters

While still on the driving blind and fat scenario, shall we also note that such moments of heightened stress are often accompanied by a lot of involuntary cheek clenching? Of the buttocks variety, if I haven’t been clear.

Fear can truly be more than a metaphoric pain in the behind.

Fear can be a true pain in the ass.

Fear equals hemorrhoids.

No more, I say!

No more fat, fearful and afflicted with hemorrhoids!

Today, I began my seven-day free mini anti-panic attack course from Panic Away. Today I order Fat Loss 4 Idiots, and today, I take my hemorrhoids into my own hands (figuratively speaking, this time) and get rid of them once and for all!

That’s right! I found a lovely woman on the internet who claims that she can cure your hemorrhoids within 48 hours without the use of surgery.

For the giant flock of chickens out there that avoid hospitals like the plagues they often set off, this woman’s discovery might be a godsend. If it works, “godsend” will be spelled with a capital “G”.

Hemorrhoids, the gods’ Grapes of Wrath, don’t have to be tied off with elastics. One doesn’t have to reach for the Preparation H without one’s glasses, only to accidentally use Crazy Glue on one’s buttocks. (True story, Reader’s Digest, and they never lie!)

No, Holly Hayden of H Miracle says hemorrhoids will be gone forever in 48 hours, using inexpensive, easily obtainable products from neighbourhood stores. She says that you would never think to use these particular ingredients, if left to your own imagination/scientific knowledge base.

Holly Hayden doesn’t know me very well, but we will assume that she is correct.

I am trusting you Holly. I am trusting you and your 60-day 100 per cent money-back-if-it-doesn’t-work-or-kills-you guarantee.

If the advice doesn’t work, at least you don’t suffer the further pain of being shafted you know where.

I don’t know what you were thinking, but I meant in your pocketbook!

Please join me in trying H Miracle. Well, not literally “join” me; just give it a whirl in the privacy of your own bathroom, with your glasses on, miles away from the Crazy Glue that the wife was using to fix her shoe’s broken heel and left on the bathroom bookstand table where you normally keep the Preparation H…

Try H Miracle. Here’s the link. Tell me what you think! Click Here!

Pat