Fattycakes Wants To Lose Weight
For a craft service person, life on a film set is spent on one’s feet for 18 to 20 hours a day, if not more.
I am not kidding you. We never stop! Feeding a film crew and the actors and production management is a never-ending affair.
Lucky for me, I have a “pioneer” body type! This, I have discovered, is nutritionist code for, “She is fat and is going to stay fat no matter how much or little she eats and no matter how much or little she exercises, and no matter how much or little she sleeps. She will be healthy with little food and little sleep, and strong like bull.”
I am perfectly built for craft service. My nickname on set, given to me by the lovely gay men on the set of Queer As Folk, is Patticakes. My craft partner for most of this production was a great guy named Kris Baker.
Patticakes and Bakerman.
Patticakes is feeling like Fattycakes.
Patticakes is looking for her old slim self.
FAT LOSS 4 IDIOTS will help me find her.
Film sets are evil. People drop like flies, only to be replaced by new flies, I mean, people.
Our union insurance rep dropped by at the last meeting to inform us all that the average life span of a film crew member is 52. Not working life span, life span.
I’m 52.
In contrast to this dire omen, my family doctor says that my vital signs are excellent. She was surprised. She said that from a health standpoint, my body seemed to enjoy being “big”. She said that I only needed to lose weight for emotional or mental health reasons, if I had such issues with my body image.
So, apparently, I am as healthy as a horse.
I look like a cow.
Moo.
Boo hoo.
I have the energy of the cute little pink energy bunny, with none of the “little”.
You thought I was going to say “none of the cute”, didn’t you? Hmmm?
Well, I’ve got cute to spare!
Unfortunately I have a lot of fat to spare also!
I invite “she’s so fat” jokes at this juncture. Go ahead. Take your best shot, as long as it’s clean. We’ll post your comments here. I dare you!
Speaking of Dare, their double chocolate fudge cookies are amazing, aren’t they?!
FAT LOSS 4 IDIOTS will be my salvation!
I double dog DARE you to try it yourself!
FAT LOSS 4 IDIOTS. Here’s the link. Tell me what you think! Click Here!
Pat
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