Life In The Fat Lane
Surely makes you lose your mind! Life in the fat lane… denandenadenada.
I want a metabolism!
I went to a specialist once, back in the day, after my son was born and I had lost my metabolism. I told him what I ate every day, which consisted of lots of fruit and salads, some pasta, roasted chicken, roast beef, depending on the day. Not all at once, mean people!
Having parked outside an abattoir (fancy French word for slaughterhouse) feeding a film crew for two weeks, I have since attempted to embrace an entirely vegetarian lifestyle. Seeing, and more to the point, hearing the insanity of pigs screaming from dawn ’til dusk, I could no longer in good conscience be a meat eater, no matter how slurpy delicious certain animals taste. Like all of them.
The specialist said that my body was actually too efficient at holding on to every energy-producing molecule it could, and as a result, I barely needed to eat anything and would have energy and fat cells to spare. He called it a “pioneer” body type, and practically broke into paroxysms of laughter when he saw the look on my face when he told me that basically that meant that sniffing someone else’s dinner would keep me sustained for a week.
While this is a slight exaggeration of the truth, he really did say that this change occurs in some women’s bodies after childhood as a genetic means of ensuring the survival of both mothers and their children in times of shortage.
Pioneer body types are based on the premise that, as a mother in times of scarcity, which the body now takes to be for the rest of your life, you as a mother no longer eat for pleasure, only for sustenance, and since you now need almost nothing to survive with ample energy to function for, say, 20-hour days on your feet taking care of your family, you don’t suffer the moral angst of needing to eat a lot yourself, and thereby depriving your young of more food from the assumed limited supply.
Since I swam, ran, walked and was the only person in my town cycling to the next town to go to work, I knew that exercise had not helped me lose weight in the least. I couldn’t do any more! Indeed, I had a lot of energy and strength, but I also had a tummy that I could not get rid of.
I did a colon cleanse, so no, I wasn’t full of shit, but thanks for asking!
At this point, I gave up worrying about it and decided to become the happy fat mama that nourished and cared for the world. If I couldn’t eat a lot and still stayed fat, then I would help everyone else enjoy lots of really delightful food. I loved to cook and bake and create nourishing, delectable meals. I had a talent for it too, I soon discovered. My family loved my cooking. So did my friends. So did people I didn’t even know.
I loved to throw big parties and feed the five thousand, so to speak. I booked great bands (I’m a musician myself, actually), made great drinks… Life in the fat lane was good.
I hated being fat.
I hate being fat.
FAT LOSS 4 IDIOTS says it can make me thin. It comes, as I have said before, with a 100 per cent, 60-day trial, money-back-if-you’re-still-fat guarantee. I’ll let you know how things are progressing once I put this cake down and give it a try!
FAT LOSS 4 IDIOTS claims to rewire the brain so that things such as cake, if eaten in moderation, can be eaten in moderation without you looking like the side of a barn.
Everyone is different. Please give FAT LOSS 4 IDIOTS a try for yourself. I’d love to get your feedback. FEEDback. Yummy… food.
Here’s the link. Tell me what you think!
Pat
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