Over The Hill Health Matters

The Suicidal Contemplations of a Food Connoisseur

I shan’t go on for life’s own sake;
My wife has left and I can’t bake!
(The old cow drove me ’round the bend.)
I now must plan a fitting end
For a man of such esteemed cuisine
As I uphold should not beseem
A silent passage from this earth
But one comparable in girth
To Buddha’s, if not Thomas More’s,
Though such close shaves I do abhor!
Think man! Think! What horrid way
Should I, so fearless, end my days?

Now toadstools are tasty, or turpentine,
Though I prefer something more refined.
A palatable death, one might say,
Like garlic! It takes your breath away.
Or arsenic! No. It’s been done before.
Refresh the world with a novel gore.
Say! Fungus soup, all piping hot!
The human brain would surely rot!
Ah! False sea cucumber – “Mistaken Pickle”,
One could hardly call that fickle.

Yet the most appealing way of all
To leave the grandeur and the gall
Of earthly life behind the wake,
Is stack my plate with countless steaks
And set before me bread and wine
And then shall I commence to dine
Until my body, short of breath,
Finds that I’ve STUFFED myself to death!
And headlines read that “EAT AT JOE’S”
Puts another victim in repose.

- Anonymous  (okay…. it was me)

For those of you who have also eaten enough to kill yourselves and still remain quite happily on this mortal coil and wish to continue to do so, might I recommend once again the fabulous

FAT LOSS 4 IDIOTS diet/weight loss program that is so highly touted on the internet these days.

FAT LOSS 4 IDIOTS comes with a 100 per cent 60-day money-back guarantee. If you stay fat, so will your wallet. Try it out and let me know your results.

Here’s the link. Tell me what you think! Click here.

Pat