Massaaaage. Mmmmmmmmm!
Who doesn’t love a massage?!
Okay, my mother, my father, one of my sisters… I wasn’t brought up in a touchy, feely family. But boy, are they ever missing out!
I love massage, and so do most of my friends and acquaintances, and that is a lot of people!
I give an excellent massage. I have the gift, I have been told many a time. As a result, I give a lot more massages than I ever receive. I am happy to see the looks of ecstasy on my victims’ faces, and see the results of my labours when knots are relieved and motion restored. But I can only do so much before I am tired and sore myself. I can do a lot, but there are always more people and I don’t have the time or logistical ability to get to everyone who is asking. Besides, it gets cold being half-naked all the time, and sooner or later you need to get dressed and unbolt the door.
What?
You mean they were all lying to me?
I also, am a massage pig. My partner is an amazing masseuse, as is our very good friend Karen. We call her Arnold. Arnold Schwartzenkaren. That’s how good she is at massage. But being massage pigs, we are never satisfied. We always want more. Injured or not. I’m fed up of overworking my leg muscles on purpose, lifting 150 pound coolers by myself on set or “accidentally” falling over pylons just to get that extra hands-on attention. Kidding.
(I have to write kidding, because I never know when someone thinks I am being serious. Using smiley faces might just let people think that I like falling over pylons.)
There is an excellent massage product made in Canada, known as the Thumper. An amazing, hand held therapeutic massage device. And, I am one hundred per cent certain that you could use one for “personal” massage. I know this because I accidentally did that when trying to get a knot out of my inner thigh.
Ahem.
Fastest gun in the west.
If you don’t know what I mean, I am certain that once you have tried one of these babies, you too will find out, accidentally of course, what is meant by a “personal” massage unit. I found it very therapeutic at the same time.
Seriously, however, check out the Thumper.
I have one of their prosumer therapeutic massage units at home and it is incredible and very affordable compared to regular visits to a masseuse named Lance, and very user friendly.
Another company with amazing prosumer hand held massage units is Brookstone in the United States. Excellent products, although if you don’t want to buy Chinese-made products, you had better ask them for their manufacturing source because I understand they have switched to Chinese-made hand held massage products.
You’ll be impressed by both companies’ offerings. Dare to compare and choose the one that’s right for you.
I personally own and religiously use the Thumper, as do my family and family chiropractor. The Thumper can be purchased from Shopper’s Drug Mart for around $123.00 CAD, which is half the price that I paid for it a few years ago, at cost price from the chiropractor. Brookstone models go for around $315.00 US.
Here are their respective website addresses: www.thumpermassager.com, and www.brookstone.com.
So, if you need to recover from the aches and pains and stresses and strains of your therapeutic yoga class that left you with a two year bout of sciatica from holding a pose for ten minutes longer than the yogi instructed you to do, resulting in your subsequent undignified expulsion from the yoga class after throwing an unscheduled, but totally provoked tantrum after having been unsympathetically informed that there was not a yoga pose that would undo the damage that you had just inflicted upon yourself by insisting on too much of a good stretch………(breathe Pat, breathe) — check these massagers out.
Tell me what you think. You will not regret it. In fact, I would go so far as to say it could very well be one of the best purchases you could ever make, regardless of your age or level of decrepitude.
Is that a word?
I have not been, and will not be, financially compensated in any way for recommending these massage products. They do not have an affiliate marketing program, although they should. I simply want you to try them. Use them. Your life will be better for them.
I will never recommend any product that I do not personally believe in, and I must have empirical evidence from reliable sources to back up any claims of effectiveness and safety. Please provide me with feedback regarding any products discussed on this site, and please feel free to offer suggestions for everyone to share with regard to safe and effective, reasonably priced products for our readers to try, should they feel so inclined.
Funny anecdotes are always encouraged.
I am personally not a pill popper. If it works for you, that’s great. I like to keep side effects to a minimum, and the best way to do that is not to take medication with horrific side effects in the first place. I like to look for alternatives.
Like marijuana. Kidding — now. Happy pot disappeared in the ’70’s. It was replaced by catatonic, wheelchair pot. I consider total paranoia and not being able to breathe horrific side effects. A lot of my friends call it entertainment — especially if it is happening to someone else and they are just watching. (Don’t forget, I work in the film industry.)
Evil.
I advocate and actively seek out and utilize natural remedies that have a proven track record. Herbs. Homeopathy. Bach’s flower remedies. Absolutely amazing. Magnetic therapy. It really works for a great many people, including myself. Evil yoga. Easily absorbed mineral supplements. The list goes on.
You are once again invited to help me find what is effective and affordable for we working and non-working people. Stress on the bank account is further stress on the body, mind and soul. Let’s try to keep it to a minimum, and try to enjoy a bit of humour as we go!
No, that is not a spelling mistake.
Pat
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