The Orange Blossom Special!
Work in film has been a wee bit slow lately, so myself and a number of my colleagues have branched out into building and tearing down exhibits and displays. LIUNA Local 506, rah, rah, rah! Good people. We took the time to get all of our trade tickets such as first aid and CPR, crane operator, forklift, fall arrest, propane and systems building. It was a bit out of my comfort area, but since that area is basically the parameters of my couch, what isn’t?
Being exhibit and display techies, we therefore get to preview and post-view a myriad of trade shows, health shows, craft fairs etc. It’s wonderful and extremely informative. And free!
I like free.
Free is good.
Last night we were installing the aisle carpets for a snowmobile and ATV and motorcycle show at the International Centre in Mississauga, a giant city west of Toronto. All the booths were laden with outdoor sports equipment and paraphernalia, except for one lonely booth dedicated to aromatherapy products.
How did she sneak in there? It is not like one can go to an alternative health show and start peddling motorcycles.
Or can one? Hmmm.
Anyway, there she was, the aromatherapy lady, in a sea of testosterone-driven man-products.
The only one.
No competition.
Unique at the trade show.
Her booth smelling divine.
The sneaky bitch. I mean, the sly and wily entrepreneur.
No matter who you are, sex sells and so do smells.
Must sniff the many bottles. Must touch.
And what is this? These scents can actually help you heal? Psha.
Marjoram helps alleviate bronchial congestion, as does eucalyptus oil and peppermint. You have your choice about smelling like a turkey dinner, a treat for koala bears, or a candy cane. As long as it works, choose your preference.
Rose essence is an aphrodisiac?! What man could resist buying this for his beloved on the off-chance that this claim might be true? Especially when the bottle doesn’t mention a thing about this positive potential. Throw away the card attached to the product, and who’s the wiser? No-one needs to know the machiavellian motivation behind this little gift from the outdoor sports show. Thinking: “Vroom vroom. Rev your engines mama.” And saying: “I’ve brought you this delicate floral essence for your bath water. How thoughtful of me! Thinking only of you, my love.” Kissy, kissy.
But what about me? What about my needs? (Care for a little whine with your supper, Pat?)
And there it was, dead centre of the display. A possible answer to my recent onslaught of driving-related panic attacks:
Orange blossom essence. It is reputed to alleviate panic attacks.
And insomnia. And a few other things.
I wants it.
I needs it.
I’ve gots to haves it.
And lo and behold, Herbal Remedies.com carries it! For $12.95. Just go to their site and search for “orange blossom”. It pops up about half-way down the page. I’m ordering some as soon as I get paid. I’ll definitely let you know how it works. Stay tuned to this Bat Channel for future updates. Hopefully I can snort my way out of panic attacks — legally!
What I meant to say was: I hope that I will be able to alleviate any future panic attacks by wafting a bottle of the fragrant essence of orange blossom under my nostrils and inhaling deeply prior to driving on twelve-lane highways.
“Snort”.
What a word.
Pat
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