Over The Hill Health Matters

« Posted by Pat Franczyk on February 24, 2010 »

Liver spots, as I pointed out so delicately and with attention to scientific verification in my last post, are not the result of liver problems. Those nasty brown clumps of melanin on light-skinned people are said to be a result of age-induced melanin clumping, or genetic inclination, that just happens to coincide with aging. This according to the good folks at the Mayo Clinic, et al.

I think that they are simply the work of evil gremlins with a twisted sense of humor, who are allowed to rule the latter half of our lives. Their’s is also the realm of bushy eye brows, nasal and ear hair, female moustaches, loose teeth, flatulance, foul body odour that a skunk would be proud of, hair loss and assorted sagging protruberances. These gremlins are nice enough to make us myopic and near-sighted so that we don’t realize the involuntary response this unholy bag of tricks elicits from the younger members of our family and the community at large.

If it wasn’t for the fact that you still know how to make the best glaucoma ie. pot cookies on the planet, your kids would have stopped visiting years ago.

I hate gremlins.

Since liver spots have nothing to do with the state of your liver, go ahead and have a few drinks in order to forget about how much you detest those so-called liver spots and the fact that their appearance is a reminder that you are getting old…   er.

Have one for me. A Corona with lime please. And a trip to Mexico.

Can I come with you?

We can tan in between those liver spots together. Fill in the gaps. Just don’t get sunburned. The Mayo Clinic also says that severe sunburn can result in more liver spots than those who do not get severe sunburn will manifest.

I say hold the Mayo.

Because I can.

I would like the opportunity to test their theory in San Pancho. Of course, Puerto Escondido would be more likely to accomplish the task of providing the prime conditions for not escaping a serious sunburn.

Even the Mexicans don’t like to travel further south than Puerto Vallarta if they are at sea level. In southern Mexico, the mountains are the mole hills. Mole, Spanish for sauce. Get it? LIke guacamole.

It’s too hot to eat unless you are in Oaxaca City at some heaven-bound altitude and 78 degrees temperature.

The beach is a million degrees until 2 am. The water is as warm as the air. Bring your milk thistle and pray that it prevents serious liver deterioration from the mass quantities of ice cold Corona you are forced to drink to survive your surfing holiday in Puerto Escondido.

Herbal Remedies.com and Well.ca can send you all the milk thistle you’ll need. It works like a charm. Read my last post.

But back to evil liver spots, since you are not going to take me with you to Mexico.

Are you?

Liver spots and acne scars, and even light wrinkles can be lessened to an amazing degree by an all natural product called Skin Bright. Skin Bright’s website is extremely user-friendly and offers clear, undoctored before and after pictures of a number of its clients.

If you can’t afford the tan or the risk of skin cancer in in Mexico.

Or the liver damage from the beer.

SkinBright.com for excellent results with an all natural skin lightening product.

San Pancho for the wind, waves and warmth. Mean temperaure, 82 Farenheit.

Please take me with you.

I’m a great cook.

Anything, anytime, anywhere.

My skills improve south of the border.

SkinBright.com. Your friend in need. Even if you do have unsightly liver spots that have undermined your self-esteem and caused you to retire to Mexico as a recluse with your own personal chef — ahem — and lots of beer.

And milk thistle.

From Herbal Remedies.com and Well.ca. Your favourite on-line source of high quality, affordable health and beauty products.

I think I’ve made my point.

I miss Mexico.

Pat.

« Filed under Glaucoma, Health, Skin Care »