What’s In A Name?!
Sheer rudeness, apparently.
Okay, for the love of Pete, and anyone else whose name has been turned into a vulgarity; what is going on with the English-speaking world? No self-worth, no self-reflection, or simply no brain cells?
Hmmm?
Here are but a few examples of last names and their obvious breakdowns, to even a kid in Junior kindergarten. In Ohio.
Dickinson.
Dick in son.
Reddick.
Red dick.
Slocum.
Slow cum.
Dick.
Dick.
These aren’t even subtle people! Why would you keep such last names and pass them on to your defenseless, soon to be ridiculed children?
Are we morons?
Of course, with the ever increasing list of newcummers to our cuntry, we can now proudly add such monikers as Wang, Dong, Hung, and, our personal favourite, Fukui to the list of surnames of questionable taste.
And people keep naming their innocent little children after motorcars and pieces of fruit. Very cute while they are young, but once they reach puberty, Mercedes and Porche are open to “I took a ride in my Mercedes” etc. vulgarities. And Apple is, of course, eaten.
Way to go Mom and Dad. Really looking out for your child’s mental and emotional well-being there.
Poor John is now a public toilet thanks to Johnny-On-The-Spot euphamisms. And Johnson is anyone’s dick.
My cousin John’s son’s name is Peter.
Of course it is; that trickster Coyote runs this place. And he lives in Kananaskis, Alberta, Canada.
I don’t know. Can an ass kiss?
Speaking of dick; if your name is Richard, why on earth would you agree to be called Dick?
Is that the only thing you have to be proud of? And we all know that is not the emphasis put on that word anyway, now is it?
No. It infers that one is an asshole.
Ballsy would be just as good. It doesn’t sound anymore like Richard than Dick does, and has a far better connotation.
Wake up people, and protect your self-respect. And if not your’s, think of your children. Change your name to something nice.
Like Engelbert Humperdinck.
Not.
Now get a grip. No, not on your dick.
On a book of names that can’t be reduced to vulgarities.
And please note; if you are named Adele, don’t marry a farmer. You will face ‘farmer in Adele” jokes the rest of your life. Change your husband-to-be’s nickname from Bubbles to Bob, or something far away from the “I’m forever blowing Bubbles” song lyric that is still known to we ancient ones.
I have family and friends in these predickaments. So I know of what I speak.
We need to publish a dick-shun-ary.
Pat.
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