Xzavier T’s
Perhaps the Sisters of Notre Dame would have been nicer if they had carried these pictures around back in the day.
When I was in Grade One, my school principal was Sister Xavier. I swear she was six feet tall and as wide as a swizzle stick. Sister Xavier looked stern and strict, but actually, she was the only nun in the teaching order, the Sisters of Notre Dame, that did not have a penchant for using the strap, or wrapping fingers with pointers, or traumatizing children for no reason at all.
Which is why it is too bad that she was the nun that I witnessed slip on the ice at the top of a very steep hill, and careen down the sidewalk to street below in a most undignified manner. The crossing guard broke her run, and prevented any chance of her sudden death under the wheels of a car.
Yes, I was the only witness to this little escapade. I knew what was good for me, so I kept this incident to myself for many years, until I was well away from the clutches of any of her comrades in Christ.
Somehow, these nuns would have turned my eyewitness account into a confession of guilt. I would have morphed from the innocent little child who witnessed this somewhat comical slide of a nun down the steep sidewalk, into an attempted murderer.
I saw the ice; why didn’t I call out to Sister Xavier and stop her from taking the next, fateful step? Because I wanted to see her lose control, wipe out, and take the crossing guard with her into the arms of God, they would say.
And they would say that. I kid you not.
That is why a most excellent post-secondary institute, St. Francis Xavier University, was never on my list of schools to attend.
By the way; apparently 18,100 people are trying to find someone named Xavier or Xzavier, by googling the non-word xaiver. We will therefore use it three times throughout this blog and magically add those searchers to our audience.
Welcome!
And what, if anything, does this have to do with Xzavier T-shirts?
Why, absolutely nothing, of course.
Just that the name Xzavier brings up such warm and fuzzy childhood memories of endless years of quality “education” at the hands of female wackos dressed in black and white.
Xzavier T-shirts have amazing graphics of skeletons and swords and crosses and filigree. This is what those nuns should have been wearing. Far more representative of their true calling — tormenting children.
For some unfathomable reason, this is what the young men of today like to wear to clubs and bars. They say that the young women like these shirts immensely.
Why they would, I do not know.
But if you do, please check out Fighter Warehouse for their line of Xzavier T-shirts. That way, you can check out the ball support pressure shorts at the same time without having to admit that you need such support just to walk to the corner store, let alone kick-box.
Never admit to any age-related ailments.
Shop at Fighter Warehouse and stay in the athletic, young man loop.
Fake it til you make it, I always say.
And always will.
Oh yes! Try their mouthguards if you have bruxism — teeth grinding, for whatever reason. Like a traumatic childhood memory full of nasty nuns.
Fighter Warehouse mouthguards look a lot cooler than namby pamby ones from the drug store. And they work just as well without making you look like a sissy.
Mouth drool should look cool.
This nun is happy because she “confiscated” a child’s skipping rope.
It’s okay; she’s dead now. She tripped and smashed her teeth because she wasn’t wearing a mouthguard from Fighter Warehouse.
Pat.
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