Jane Iredale mineral make-up is considered by many plastic surgeons and dermatologists to be the safest, kindest cosmetic line on the market today. Thousands of consumers would agree with them, given the popularity of the Jane Iredale cosmetics products.

Go for it girls!

And the occasional fellow.

Please be aware that although the vast majority of Jane Iredale Cosmetic products are green-lighted by the EWG as safe as it gets for carinogenic-free make-up, or from any other dangerous ingredients, the EWG does not find the Jane Iredale powder sunscreen a safe bet. The EWG rates the Jane Iredale sunscreen a very dangerous, red-zone seven.

The problem is the titanium dioxide, and a particular combination of other other ingredients which, all things scientifically considered, are dangerous to our health.

Please take the time to check out the EWG site. Once again, EWG stands for the Environmental Working Group. They are our consumer watchdog. The EWG is funded by public donation. They are not in the hands of big pharma, or anyone else. Their unbiased scietific research is top-notch and world renowned. Please make use of their research and stay safe.

There are a few other Jane Iredale cosmetic products which are rated a caution-yellow. By far the vast majority of her products are green-lighted and loved by many. Look them up on the user-friendly EWG website http://www.ewg.org.

You can check them out at Jane Iredale’s website http://www.janeiredale.com.

Perhaps you could write her a little note with regards to the few products that she  manufactures that do not come up to the safety standards set by the Environmental Working Group. Let her know that her consumers are a savvy lot and that she should do domething about the proverbial fly in the ointment. Jane Ireldale Cosmetic products advertising campaings  ensure the consumers that all of her products are very safe for them. Her client-base is therefore more trusting and more likely not to do their due diligence and check out the research on each of her products before using them.

Not good and not smart.

But very trusting.

Drop Jane a line and let her know that the EWG has not given all of her products a clean bill of health.

Just most of them.

Which is a lot better than many cosmetic lines on the market today.

For a full and complete review of Jane Iredale’s cometics, and every other cosmetic company under the sun, please refer to the EWG’s Cosmetic Database.

Be careful and stay healthy!

Pat.

Okay; when I looked up Baz Sunscreen I was probably the only person on the planet that didn’t know that it was a famous little Youtube number by Baz Luhrmann, entitled Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen.

I thought that Baz Sunscreen was a brand name that I had not heard of that was good for everyone to know about, since 40,500 good souls had already googled the phrase. It wasn’t a brand that was on the EWG’s (the Environmental Working Group) list of test sunblocks and sunscreens, yet it was apparently very popular to those in the know.

But Baz is right, even if his glowing reference to the need to wear sunscreen is only a small part of his heartfelt video message.

Baz, meet Badger. Badger, meet Baz.

Badger Sunblock products are the only ones on the EWG’s safe sunscreen list that I can even find in an actual physical store, or on an online health store.

So Badger products it is.

Well.ca is your store online for Badger products at great prices.

Click on the icon!

HI! All you people into World of Warcraft might want to check out the amazing T-shirts at Fighter Warehouse. Death Skulls on every t-shirt in the Xzavier clothing line-up. Amazing artistry has gone into this clothing line developed around the ever-popular death skull theme.

Could someone please tell me what is the attraction?

I love t-shirts as a medium of self-expression. I am not personally in any way enamoured with the idea of death, or skulls. I am glad that I have a skull, but I do not want to see skulls.

That usually means that they are no longer doing their job.

Not good on all accounts.

 I don’t see a skull on this Xzavier t-shirt!

However, that being said, the best place to find lots of skull-covered clothing in one place is Fighter Warehouse. And, if someone buys an Xzavier t-shirt at Fighter Warehouse, and tells their friends to go there also, then they get paid for the referral. Just do it online.

Fighter Warehouse’s affiliate program is the best on the internet. They will pay you 25 % if someone arrives at their site via your link and actually buys something within the next few months.

Try it, you will like it. And so will Fighter Warehouse. You can aslo call it Fighters Warehouse, although that is technically incorrrect. Your website will potentially get traffic from an additional 8,000 viewers that prefer that spelling.

Fighters Warehouse carries excellent pressure pants, pressure shorts, comfy and effective jock support, ball support, whatever you want to call it. Great support, under the evil name of Dirty Boxers.

That name is wrong on so many levels.

Okay, at least on two.

Fighters Warehouse carries high quality mouthguards and supplements. And anti-fungal powders and sprays.

A good scratch can lose the match.

Well.ca carries salve for all of your bruises and scrapes.

So tell all of your friends, children and grandchildren You need money for retirement. And a new pair of Dirty Boxers for comfy support. You don’t need to tell them that part, just the part about needing money for retirement. Force them to sell Fighter Warehouse products. Make sure that they set up their affiliate link under your affiliate link. Make sure that your affiliate link is under my website link, or I will have to kill you.

All my love,

Pat.

Or Queen. Whatever your preference for comparision. It’s an oil, people. Let’s not get too hung up on its gender analogy. It hasn’t really got one.

Kukui oil reigns supreme.

It rocks.

Try it.

You will love it.

Eczema and psoriasis, rosacea and sunburn have met their match.

I bought and used some in Hawaii and didn’t burn once. I was out in the sun all day, every day. I put the kukui oil on religiously every two hours or so. The oil is excellent. It keeps the skin smooth, supple and moisturized without being greasy. Great for the lips also. Prevents cracking, drying, and burning.

Protect your baby-boo.

Well.ca carries Alba Kukui OIl and will deliver it to your door. Add it to a liberal application of Badger Sunscreen every two hours. The EWG, the Environmental Working Group, says that Badger Sunscreen is one of the safest sunscreens on the market today. The EWG tested 258 sunscreens on the market today, including all the leading brands such as Banana Boat, Coppertone etc., and found that only 40 sunscreens did not carry carcinogens or false claims for sun protection, or actually had the correct amount of ingredients to properly and safely protect us from burning or contracting skin cancer.

Badger Sunscreen is the only sunscreen in the top forty safe sunscreens, that I could even find in the local health food super store. It is twenty dollars, Canadian, for a small tube, but our children are all worth it.

And so are we!

Well.ca carries Badger Sunscreen, so we are all in luck. We can all hide safely in our houses until the delivery van pulls up to our homes and unloads these skin-savers into our outstretched, glove-covered hands.

Actually, I just burn to death and then remember that I should have put some kukui oil and Badger sunscreen on.

Duh.

Free shipping and handling in Canada.

Kukui Nut Tree. Enjoy your bath –eczema-free!

Pat.

When I first read that the Canadian company Upaya Naturals provided online customers with raw food delights, I wondered what kind of idiot can’t just buy a raw carrot from the local food store and eat it.  Even if you are a shut-in, local stores deliver, so where is the market for Upaya Naturals?

Silly me. Upaya Naturals provides online shoppers with hard to find, all natural, vegan cheeses and ice creams that actually taste good while providing lots of nutrients.They arrive on ice to your very doorstep, where you can be waiting, crackers in hand, or spoon in fist, in eager anticipation of the yummy, delectable treats that are being delivered to your home. 

Cashew-based Ice Cream. It tastes like dairy ice cream, without the guilt.

If you find the wait too exciting, be sure to order aromatherapy essential oils that calm the nerves, and smell divine.

Get all of your favourite blender recipes at the ready also. Upaya Naturals carriesVitamix and Blendtec blenders, the cadillac of blenders/juicers on the market today. You can prepare bread mixtures, and soups, as well as smoothies and ice creams, without having to fiddle with numerous attachments. Push a button and you are off to the races.

The Vitamix Deluxe 5200 is touted as the best blender on the market, but the following videos offer conflicting evidence in this regard. You can also buy Vitamix at your friendly neighbourhood Costco store, if interested. You can save yourself the shipping fees that way, as they are presently on sale, and therefore cost the same as ordering from the company online. Ask for a demo before you buy.

The Vitamix Blendtec Kitchen Aid Challenge. You decide. The facts in these two videos conflict. Kitchen Aid is far less expensive and appears to do the trick.

The Vitamix Blendtec Challenge. 

 Why pay for Blendtec or for Vitamix if Kitchen Aid is just as efficient, if not moreso?  And it’s half the price at $199.00 How do they all fare with breadmaking? We want more tests please, before we take a Vitamix home!

Upaya Naturals also carries Superfoods, Greens etc. that are vegan-friendly. Power up so that you will have th strength inyour arms to lift that spoonful of healthy cashew-based ice cream to your lips, over and over again. After all, you have many delectable flavours to try. You need muscle mass.

So please, do yourself a favour and check out Upaya Naturals’ website.

I can hardly wait to try the cashew-based ice creams. I have never tried them before, but everyone says that they are great. I know that there are some almond and soy-based ice creams that are out there these days that are absolutely delicious. I wonder if the cashew-based ice creams give them a run for their money?

And don’t forget to brush your teeth! Yep. Upaya Naturals carries healthy,  flouride-free tooth cleansers also. And skincare products. And the kitchen sink. Okay, everything but.

Speaking of the kitchen sink. Upaya Naturals carries one of, if not the best, water filtration systems on the market today: Wellness Kitchen S-III Filtration. This countertop water filtration system can also be easily mounted under the sink with the purchase of an adapter kit. What is most wonderful about this Wellness filtration system is that trace mineral that we need for our health are added back to the water supply after filteration has occurred. If you are concerned about pharmaceuticals, heavy metals and fecal matter making it into your drinking and bathing water, this filtration system will give you the quality of water and the peace of mind you need.

Unless, of course, you enjoy all those pharmaceuticals in your water!

Perhaps we could just bottle it and sell it ourselves to those chronics residing in families that have purchased water filters.

Hmmm.

Just an evil, entrepreneurial thought.

Pat.

Song sunscreen.

Alright. Who invented ultraviolet rays anyway, and what good are they? What bad are they seems obvious enough. They leave us with serious radiation burns and damaged retinas, followed by a good chance of developing cancer. Great planning there, gods that be. Psychopathic geniuses. Over-the-edge creators of destructive forces. WTF! Do you want us here or don’t you?

Regardless, we want to continue to be here since we are here already and don’t enjoy looking forward to the prospect of hiding indoors for all eternity, or to frying like bacon sizzling in a pan 30 seconds after we venture forth into the sunlight on our ozone depleted planet.

We need sun protection that works.

And chocolate.

We need chocolate.

And air conditioning.

So the chocolate doesn’t melt.

I am sure that all those African children forced into slave labour on cocoa plantations wouldn’t want their efforts to provide me with a perfect chocolatey treat to be thwarted by 45 degree Celsius heat.  And someone had better step up to the plate and provide those kids with UV  protection. Oh yes, and while they’re at it; an education, adequate food, clean water, clothing, housing, sanitation, and access and/or return to their families.

Fair trade or no trade.

Chocolate is too complicated. I’ll settle for apple juice from Ontario. And potato chips, from Ontario.

And suncreen and sunglasses from whoever makes the best, safest products on the planet. Sans slavery or child labour or evil commercial practices.

Who could this be?

I’ll let you know, as soon as I find out.

Apparently, the right amount of UV rays helps us synthesize Vitamin D. Vitamin D is thought to be essential for the growth of healthy bones and teeth and for the proper functioning of the thyroid. Too little can result in osteoporosis and breast cancer, as well as tooth loss and thyroid trouble. Melanin production is supposed to offset and repair the mild damage this correct amount of UV ray exposure causes.

UVA rays are just a visit from the anti-Christ. They cause deeper, nastier, radiation damage to the skin and the eyes.

UVB rays are the friendlier folks that help us make Vitamin D when they react with certain chemicals in our skin.

Sunshine Superman.

And Sunshine Superwoman!

And all of us in between.

But Sunshine Superman et al had better be wearing Sunshine Superman sunscreen, sunglasses, hat and loose-fitting long-sleeved shirt and light cotton pants over their Speedos if they want to escape Kryptonite poisoning.

Vitamin D is added to milk cartons and vitamin supplements in order to provide us with that bone-mass building boost without risking free, yet unwanted laser therapy from the sun.

I think we need to rethink that phrase, “sunny disposition”.

The sun obviously hates us.

Yellow is not mellow.

Which sunscreens are safe and effective? The Environmental Working Group, EWG for short, has published research on 258 sunscreens popular and available on the world market today. Only 40 of these sunscreens did not contain ingredients that were either ineffective or dangerous, or both. Please check out the list at their website, http://ewg.org/.   Or google ewg suncreen.

The EWG is a stand alone organization that depends upon donations from you, the public, in order to fund its very important research. Their aim is to keep everyone safe from commercial greed and stupidity and financial desperation, any combination of which allows deadly and questionable materials to be utilized in cosmetics, foodstuffs, health care and beauty products. Please check out their site. You will be impressed with the vast amount of information they have provided on thousands of products that we use every day — and often shouldn’t.

The EWG even notes which companies have been using animal testing and which ones are not. The EWG does not condone animal testing.

Good for them.  The EWG sunscreen safety list is a godsend.

It’s a dog’s life. EWG sunscreen list rocks.

I am currently researching the ethics utilized with regard to treatment of workers employed at the various green-lighted companies, so that we can be sure to promote companies  that are attempting to provide proper wages and safety conditions for their employees, as well as excellent products for consumers.

Ditto with regards to sunglasses manufacturers.

Please note that sunscreen should be applied once every two hours regardless of its SPF rating. Higher ratings are supposed to ensure that one can stay out in the sun longer without turning red, but this has not proven to be the case. And if one does not turn red, apparently, UV damage can still take place. The delayed appearance of redness can indeed be contributing to long-term UV damage, by lengthening the amount of time people stay out in the sun.

That’s just great.

From personal experience, kukui oil works amazingly well. Not only does it heals burns and scarring and get rid of little age lines, I did not burn once on a trip to Hawaii after I discovered and used this local product prior to venturing out into paradise. I have no idea as to whether I have suffered long term UV damage, but I do know that I burned to a crisp the first day in Hawaii, when we went to Waikiki Beach. I was only frolicking in the water for a few minutes and was lobster red. I applied aloe vera, which usually does the trick for me, both as a sunburn preventative and as an after burn fix, if I had not had the opportunity to apply anything before venturing outside.

The aloe vera did not work at all this time. One of the lovely locals told me about kukui oil, so we all gave it a shot.

Kukui nut

Kukui oil is a miracle from heaven. It is full of vitamins A and E and other goodies that a great for the skin. And it truly stopped us from burning. We were in Hawaii for two weeks. I would put some kukui oil on before swimming and after I got out, or once every two hours if I was swimming any longer than that, or hanging around on the beach. We went on a whale watching expedition on the Big Island of Hawaii, and kukui oil kept us from burning under the glaring sun.

Take it from me; kukui oil could be the friendly, god-given product that you are looking for.

Well.ca and Amazon.com  and Herbal Remedies.com all carry excellent kukui oil products. I just use plain kukui oil because it did the trick for me.

Why mess with perfection? 

Macadamia nut oil is supposed to be really good for the skin also, and some brands offer a combination of the two oils, as well as grapefruit seed oil and lavender essential oil. Lavender oil is used to treat skin burns and as an antiinflammatory. Grapfruit seed oil is used  in massage oil to break down cellulite.

For  a review of excellent sunglasses, and why they are excellent, please check out my sunglasses blogs at this website, Over The Hill Health Matters. Right here. Simply go the the Categories section and punch up Vision. It’s easy. You can do it. It’s a lot easier than me writing it all over again, when nothing has changed with regard to the information available on sunglasses, except to warn you that some inexpensive sunglasses have been found to be better than some very expensive ones. None of the styles in the brands that I have noted are bad for anyone. Just make sure that you get as much protection for the side of the eye as you do for the front, and all will be well if they are graded as at least  UPF 400. This means that you need to buy sunglasses that have wrap around lenses or very wide temple arms, or both. Opting for stylish but stupid isn’t going to matter too much to you or your fans if you go blind, now is it?

Think smart.

Don’t be a tart.

Getting ready for the beach. Leaving the mud mask on.

Forget bringin’ sexy back, boys and girls. 

Get those godawful goggle wrap arounds. Wear that goofy, wide-brimmed hat and those baggy cotton pants and top. Lather your face with thick viscosity motor oil. It doesn’t burn in engines, so it should protect you from the sun. Carry a giant umbrella. Wear gloves. And oh yes; always wear socks with sandals.

I guess the extremist Muslims are right: buy a burqa and wrap around sunglasses, or stay indoors.

Song sunscreen

That goes for you men too! Unless you prefer the balaclava/sunglasses look.

But then you will be shot as a thief or a terrorist.

Better to be a boy in a burqa.

Song sunscreen. (traffic generating phrase)

Actually, try out some of the latest sunscreen clothing on the market today. SunSoul UV Protectant Clothing, brought to you by The Freedom Store.ca.

Pat.

This Filipino ate too many Jalepenos.

Note to self; Jalepeno dip, in fact Jalepeno anything, should never touch one’s hands. If it ever does, said hands should never scratch any part of anyone’s anatomy. A very good friend of mine had two of her very good friends over for dinner. Stu, as he shall be called, decided to show off his amazing tolerance for hot peppers and ate many Jalapeno peppers sans gloves. He then withdrew momentarily for a bathroom break to illegally powder his nose.

Ahem.

Stu’s mouth and stomach might indeed have been impervious to the fiery green fiend plants, but unfortunately for Stu, his scrotum was not. Nor was his penis. Stu came flying out of the bathroom screaming in pain. “Make it stop! Jamie, make it stop! Aaaaagh!” Stu ran pantless into his hosts bedroom, having already attempted to shower the offending Jalepeno oil residue off his body, to no avail. His wife Jamie and my friend Alison spent the rest of the evening applying ice to Stu’s privates.

Yes, Alison too. Stu is not shy. He has no reason to be.

Ahem again.

Please use rubber gloves when handling Jalepeno or any other hot peppers directly.

If you forget, or don’t take my warning seriously, there are a few household items that may help you to douse the flames, so to speak.

Ammonia works the best for many sufferers. Insect bite sticks have ammonia in them and work like a charm, if you don’t happen to have anything else with ammonia in it in the house.

Regular salt works, as does sugar and honey.

Sour cream, yogurt, ice cream — any sticky milk products, applied to the affected area — not eaten, unless it is your mouth you are trying to salvage –  also have reportedly helped a lot of people.

Check out the Chowhound website at http://chowhound.chow.com for more effective home remedies, and what to avoid using.

Needless to say, Stu’s pain supplied the entertainment and laughter for the evening.

For other embare-assing itches due to fungal infections from warm temperatures and tight fitting clothing, tea tree oil is touted by many internet contributors as the medicine of choice, if one does not have any Cruex or  Gold Bond, other jock-itch brand name anti-itch and anti-fungal products on hand. Oil of oregano is also an ant-fungal, if you would prefer to smell like a pasta sauce than tea tree oil.

Of course, these anti-itch medications should only be applied after one has retired to the privacy of one’s bathroom or bedroom, locked the door, and had the best scratch fest of one’s life, out of the prying eyes of webcam.

Or not.

For regular chafing, any diaper rash cream with zinc oxide in it will work wonders. If you prefer fun colours, any zinc oxide cream for sunburned noses will do the trick. You can say that you are a beach bum — rather than have a sore bum — that way!

Much cooler.

Amazon.com carries Australian Gold Face Zinc. No. It does not turn you skin gold. It should read Australian Gold, Face Zinc. This zinc oxide formulation is colourless, which takes all the fun away. No more applying bright pink and green cream in warrior stripes before plunging into the baby pool with your grandchildren.

Now you can no longer hide that alcoholic red nose, or those sun exposure wrinkles behind a thick layer of fun goo and pretend to be more youthful for a day. No, now you must look your age, and act it. Doesn’t that make you feel so much better? It is better for your buttocks and other private areas prone to chafing, however. Bright green testicles and orange butt cheeks tend to scare people away in public changerooms. Which I guess is fine. You can get dressed in peace, or use all of the showers without anyone bothering you.

I likes it. I wants it. I gots to haves it.

Well.ca has it.

Zinka cream, for that retro lifeguard look.

Pat.

Liver spots, as I pointed out so delicately and with attention to scientific verification in my last post, are not the result of liver problems. Those nasty brown clumps of melanin on light-skinned people are said to be a result of age-induced melanin clumping, or genetic inclination, that just happens to coincide with aging. This according to the good folks at the Mayo Clinic, et al.

I think that they are simply the work of evil gremlins with a twisted sense of humor, who are allowed to rule the latter half of our lives. Their’s is also the realm of bushy eye brows, nasal and ear hair, female moustaches, loose teeth, flatulance, foul body odour that a skunk would be proud of, hair loss and assorted sagging protruberances. These gremlins are nice enough to make us myopic and near-sighted so that we don’t realize the involuntary response this unholy bag of tricks elicits from the younger members of our family and the community at large.

If it wasn’t for the fact that you still know how to make the best glaucoma ie. pot cookies on the planet, your kids would have stopped visiting years ago.

I hate gremlins.

Since liver spots have nothing to do with the state of your liver, go ahead and have a few drinks in order to forget about how much you detest those so-called liver spots and the fact that their appearance is a reminder that you are getting old…   er.

Have one for me. A Corona with lime please. And a trip to Mexico.

Can I come with you?

We can tan in between those liver spots together. Fill in the gaps. Just don’t get sunburned. The Mayo Clinic also says that severe sunburn can result in more liver spots than those who do not get severe sunburn will manifest.

I say hold the Mayo.

Because I can.

I would like the opportunity to test their theory in San Pancho. Of course, Puerto Escondido would be more likely to accomplish the task of providing the prime conditions for not escaping a serious sunburn.

Even the Mexicans don’t like to travel further south than Puerto Vallarta if they are at sea level. In southern Mexico, the mountains are the mole hills. Mole, Spanish for sauce. Get it? LIke guacamole.

It’s too hot to eat unless you are in Oaxaca City at some heaven-bound altitude and 78 degrees temperature.

The beach is a million degrees until 2 am. The water is as warm as the air. Bring your milk thistle and pray that it prevents serious liver deterioration from the mass quantities of ice cold Corona you are forced to drink to survive your surfing holiday in Puerto Escondido.

Herbal Remedies.com and Well.ca can send you all the milk thistle you’ll need. It works like a charm. Read my last post.

But back to evil liver spots, since you are not going to take me with you to Mexico.

Are you?

Liver spots and acne scars, and even light wrinkles can be lessened to an amazing degree by an all natural product called Skin Bright. Skin Bright’s website is extremely user-friendly and offers clear, undoctored before and after pictures of a number of its clients.

If you can’t afford the tan or the risk of skin cancer in in Mexico.

Or the liver damage from the beer.

SkinBright.com for excellent results with an all natural skin lightening product.

San Pancho for the wind, waves and warmth. Mean temperaure, 82 Farenheit.

Please take me with you.

I’m a great cook.

Anything, anytime, anywhere.

My skills improve south of the border.

SkinBright.com. Your friend in need. Even if you do have unsightly liver spots that have undermined your self-esteem and caused you to retire to Mexico as a recluse with your own personal chef — ahem — and lots of beer.

And milk thistle.

From Herbal Remedies.com and Well.ca. Your favourite on-line source of high quality, affordable health and beauty products.

I think I’ve made my point.

I miss Mexico.

Pat.

Drugs.

Yes, indeed.

But why take away all the fun? Balanced hormones? Anger management?

Massive sedation? Psssha.

Embrace your inner and not-so-inner demons and buy a gun or five.

Paintball guns. And ammo. And grenades and cool outfits. But cool outfits in fat-pant sizes, because you are bloated, remember?

And who are you usually mad at when you are PMSing?

Everyone and everything that moves or gets in your way, I know. But realistically, doesn’t that usually boil down to the men in your life? Don’t think too long on that one. The answer is yes, it does.

Shoot them. Many times.

At least shoot a reasonable facsimile of them. The real thing might be far better at paintball than you are. Shoot them for that audacity also.

Take all those downloaded photos of your Dad and Uncle Bill, smiling and waving from the bassboat with your three brothers as they embark on that so-called family fishing trip that they refused to take you on.

Take that picture of your husband and his buddies laughing at your pain after you accidentally sat down on a wet toilet seat after the big game bash, when none of them even bothered to lift up the toilet seat, so you didn’t have that little annoyance to complain about.

Take that picure of your son and… aww.

Sons are always forgiven.

And they know it. And they work it. And…that’s right, grab that picure of the little, six foot brat and add it to the pile!

Stick those smiley faces on the targets at the Pat’s PMS Paintball Palace, coming soon to a neighbourhood near you. Special moon-time rates. Discount to seniors. ‘Cause if you’re still raging at 65, it isn’t PMS. Your life just sucks and your men are assholes. You deserve a discount.

Youse is goin’ huntin’!

How did I come up with this brilliant idea?

I love paintball, albeit vicariously at the moment due to a myriad of workplace injuries. So I was perusing a number of paintball sites and forums, and happened upon the acronym PMS on a number of occasions. It was readily apparent that PMS did not stand for the usual female rampage syndrome. Actually, it stood for Paintball Mania Supplies. These people make an excellent cocker, it turns out, and are renown in the paintball world for this accomplishment.

I will leave this one alone.

It’s hard, I mean to say, difficult, but I will not get sucked, I mean drawn, into the sophomoric world of rude jokes. I am mature.

But these best cocker people did give me the wonderful idea for a franchise chain of paintball emporiums. We could even pick you and all of your friends up at the door in a company mini-van. After all, friends usually PMS at the same time.  Instant team mates, all unfit to drive due to PMS- induced road-rage. 10 PMSing backseat drivers. I pity the fool who takes on that shuttle gig.

Seriously though, paintball hurts. Well.ca and Herbal Remedies both carry arnica and calendula creams and gels and salves to rub on all those bruises and scrapes. You probably won’t feel a thing until you come down from your killing frenzy. But when you do, Arnica and Calendula and Arctic Ice will be there for you. Arnica for bruises and swelling, no open wounds. Calendula for abrasions and rashes. Arctic Ice to mask the pain of overworked muscles.

Give all three to a masseuse named Lance. He’ll know what to do with them. He might even use them on you if you pay him enough.

You thought I was going to talk about PMS, didn’t you?

Okay, fine.

Next time!

Meanwhile, why not give paintball a try?  I read in a paintball forum that if you are too green or too old, they bury you in the leaves at the foot of the flag as the guard of last resort.

Even I can do that.

No money for all of the parphernalia? Try slingshot paintball. It’s tons of fun. Silent but deadly.

Like farts.

Come to think of it, farts could give away we old farts’ positions on the playing field. What is the point of hiding under a pile of leaves for four hours, waiting for our moment of glory as we spring upon our unsuspecting enemy as they mistakenly assume they are about to capture our flag, if we are giving away our position with odiferous gases emanating from a certain bodily orifice?

Check out Herbal Remedies and Well.ca for Beano and the like. Don’t let gas lose the war.

And don’t run out of gas either! Use a multi-vitamin and mineral supplement purchased from Well.ca or Herbal Remedies. We’ll review the many multi-vitamin and mineral supplements available on the market today in our next blog.

We will also touch on the importance of magnesium in the treatment of PMS and cramping. A personal odyssey.

Love you lots.

Pat.

I’m sure that most of you saw the Austin Powers scene where Fred Savage’s character had a giant dark mole on his face that no-one could take their eyes off. If you didn’t; tada! Now you have. The image is your’s for life, or until Alzheimer’s rears its ugly, mole-infested head.

Just one step worse than Cindy Crawford or Sarah Jessica Parker.

Moles and cysts are not really beauty marks girls. Let’s be clear on that one, shall we?

They are moles.

And cysts.

Let’s remove them painlessly and without any fuss or visits to the doctor.

Unless they have changed colour or shape or size. In which case, consult a physician pronto.

Get rid moles with castor oil and baking soda! (I know; I need to say get rid of moles with castor oil and baking soda, but the search engines won’t let me. I have to play the game or I will be lonely here all by myself.)

I use castor oil and baking soda and it works like a charm. Just make sure that the castor oil is not stale-dated. When you combine these two ingredients and massage them onto the mole or cyst, you can often feel a gentle pulling, or drawing feeling, perhaps even a slight sting. Often, you will feel nothing at all, but the moles and cysts will diminish in size and eventually disappear.

I use a dab of castor oil and baking soda once in the morning and once at night, massaged into the skin over the offending protruberance.

They will sometimes grow back again over time, because the pattern for said growth seems to be established on some peculiar evil level of life. Apply castor oil and baking soda again, if the growth starts to reappear, and voyla, presto change-o, gone.

I had a small mole on my upper lip that has never regrown, but one on my cheek keeps trying to reassert itself over the years.

Castor oil and baking soda keeps it in check.

I kid you not.

Thanks Edgar Cayce!

Give it a try and let me know how it goes for you.

Get rid moles with castor oil and baking soda !

(The third time is the charm, I’m told. I can count; the phrase is also hidden in my meta title! What a world.)

Before and after pictures would be fun!

Can’t go out to the store for castor oil because of hideous moles?

Herbal Remedies.com is your online salvation!

Pat.